Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
