You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
