To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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