Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The struggles of a small town man whore
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
