Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
