k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
