He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
nutella sex= disaster
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
