Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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