Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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