That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
