do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
