I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
