i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
