I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
