You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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