my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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