drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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