Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
