I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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