One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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