That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
