You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I would ride that face into the sunset
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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