I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
