Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
