you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
