I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
