Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize