can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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