Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
