Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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