It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
