No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
