Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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