If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
