This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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