I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
