very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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