Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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