Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
