my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
