Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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