How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
