remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you will always have a special place in my vag
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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