I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize