I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize