Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
