they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
