this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
