I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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