The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
