I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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