I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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