proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
