Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
