his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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