if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
