Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
