her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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