I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
